Friday, December 29, 2006

No Chimps is Good Chimps


We, the Staff (TM) feel a growing amount of concern over what appears to be Fearless Leader's obsession with all things simian. If We had a nickle for every time he's threatened to replace us with a chimpanzee, orangutan, gorilla, howler or prairie dog (okay, so those guys aren't quite primates, but you get the idea), We'd own an island in the middle of the Atlantic from whence we could plot global domination!

Seriously, Fearless Leader, We, the Staff (TM) think you should seek professional councilling regarding this... perversion of yours. It's not natural... not natural at all. And you know what happens when the townsfolk find out about such things - pitchfork and torch-wielding angry mobs happen!

In conclusion, We, the Staff (TM) may be lazy, but would the viewers of Arbiter's Judgement truly want to see Fearless Leader's exploits with trained chimps? It could get just a little disturbing...

-The Lazy yet Decidely non-Simian Staff

1 comment:

Juxtapose said...

That was more than 5 words! With a trained chimp, at least I'd have someone who can follow simple instructions; as well as hold a decent conversation.

When your someone with such a high intellect as myself, you need to pull out all the stops to find an intelligent conversationalist, and sadly Telly, the chimps are more articulate than your usual grunts and mumblings.